There were many years I hated Mother's Day. A strong statement for such a sweet little Hallmark day, but it's true. For the five years that Pete and I were waiting for our miracle, I dreaded the day. The church we attended had the tradition of having all the mothers stand during the service and they would be brought a long stem rose. I am sure in some pastoral meeting that seemed like a really sweet thing to do, in reality it was really a bad tradition. While all the women over 25 seemed to be standing, I sat. It was like an official announcement of my failure to produce a child. An apparently simple task that seemingly every other woman in the church seemed to be able to complete (often for some).
When I started working in church ministry I suggested (loudly) that we not do such mindless traditions. Moms know they are moms, they have been celebrated at home, let's not make a production out of pointing out all the women who are childless. Let's instead be the church that bears the yoke of our Savior and cares about what He cared about...
the brokenhearted,
the weary,
the lonely,
the orphan.
As the Director of Preschool Ministries my heart is broken for a new reason this Mother's Day. Our children whose mommas who are waiting for them in Heaven. I'll be honest, this brokenness has rocked me this week. You see in our church (and yours too) are sweet little faces with no momma here to celebrate. I can't imagine being four and trying to understand this holiday. I can't imagine being the dad who drops off your child at Sunday School to find out they are making Mother's Day crafts. This pain has to be a thousand fold what I felt sitting empty handed in my church 10 years ago, and this is a pain the church is mindlessly inflicting.
Now I am not saying we shouldn't honor and celebrate our moms this Mother's Day. By all means bring on the flowers and gifts Pete. What I am saying is as a church this weekend let us be a balm for the brokenhearted. Let us give rest to the weary. Let us include the lonely in our celebrations and let us love lavishly the orphans. It will be through the intentionality of our love, not the mindlessness of our traditions that the hope of Christ can be seen by those who most need Him this Sunday.
The Thorns of Mother's Day
He's never going to quit you...
" Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged
for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Cindy used three examples of courage in scripture.
Moses parting the Red Sea as the Egyptian army was upon them...
David volunteering to face Goliath...
Ester going to the king to save her people...
Cindy asked the girls...
Was it Moses' staff that gave him the power to part the Red Sea?
Was it David's slingshot that gave him the courage to face a giant?
Was it Ester's crown that made her brave enough to face the king even if it cost her her life?
Of course the answer was no, no and no. They were strong and courageous because God was with them. So often the tables get turned at our bible study. Our daughters become our teachers and the mothers sit with teary eyes and shaky faith, looking in wonder at these mighty little sisters of ours. As Cindy was teaching one of the girls put up her hand - she was bursting to share
"This is it," she said, "God is never going to quit you. That's what our verse means. He is NEVER, EVER going to quit you. No matter what happens. No matter what is going on, don't worry, just don't worry. God will NEVER quit you, He will be with you."
The little girls nodded, the mommas wiped our eyes. Perhaps we cried because we were so happy she knew that. Perhaps we cried because our bruised and weary hearts struggle to hold the faith of a seven year old. We ended our study time as, we always do, with a small circle of girls praying for one another. The girls prayed for safety, for happiness, for courage, and for faith for one another. The same little girl praised God that the mommies took the time to teach the lesson. I praised God that she had had the courage to teach the mommies the lesson.
Two days later, Emily and I sat in the family room watching reports from Boston. Emily reached over and grabbed my hand, "Remember mommy," she said, "God is never going to quit us, and He won't quit those people either." Amen, my little sister, amen.
Infestation
Out west the moths are big. We call them Millers and they arrive from the eastern plains in ugly flocks that cover your bushes. They are so gross you don't think twice about killing them.
In our new house in Raleigh we were greeted by a few little moths. They were so slow flying and cute, I felt bad killing them. The cuteness was my downfall. Those cute little moths turned out to be what's called "pantry moths" and my benevolence led to a full on infestation this past week. Open a cabinet - swoosh - out fly five. Open the cereal - swoosh - out fly two more. While we were not paying any attention, those little moths destroyed our groceries and wrecked havoc in our cabinets. The cuteness wore off.
While I was cleaning out our cabinets this weekend I was thinking about infestations. They sneak up on all parts of life, don't they? I started out this year set on eating healthier and exercising 4 days a week. Yet little snacks, little celebrations, little stressors and little time commitments have snuck up on me and destroyed my good intentions and wrecked havoc on my health.
The more I cleaned those cabinets this weekend, the more areas of my life I assessed for infestations. I fear I found quiet a few brewing.
- Family Time: a new job for me, new friendships for all of us,one additional activity for each of the girls. As I look at the next week we don't have a single night all home together. We've got a family time infestation.
- Date Nights: upcoming church events, school spring fling night, starting a community group, work travel, Indian Princesses. There is not a Friday or Saturday night available this month (and next month doesn't look much better.) Wow. Infestation!
- Quiet Time: waking up late, waking up still exhausted, distractions from the girls, news, work, and our move. I HATE this - but if I am really honest, the quiet time with the Lord that I cherish each day has been infested by life lately, and its bad!
These are three important parts of my life. This is the food of my heart and my soul and yet I have let my guard down. Just like those cute little pantry months, I have let distractions dressed up and called "opportunities" infest my priorities, damage what I say I value, and wreck havoc on me.
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| Our pantry sans shelves |
Are there infestations going on in your home? Are cute little opportunities adding up and becoming a problem in your family? How is your health, your family, your marriage, and your walk with God?
On Saturday Pete and I were merciless with those cute little moths. We sucked them up with the vacuum, smashed them with fly-swatters, and sprayed them with bleach. Then, just to make sure their offspring were not lingering around, we ripped out all the shelving in our kitchen. We bleached the walls, and caulked the cracks. We were pretty radical in our attempts to get our kitchen back.
I want to be that radical with the rest of my infestations. I want my health, my time with my family, my time with Pete, and my time with God back. Distractions beware, I no longer think you are cute.
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