Just 18 Summers - or actually only 7

A new book by authors Renee Gutteridge and Michelle Cox releases this month with the heart wrenching title,  Just 18 Summers.   The book description asks,

"With just eighteen summers before their children are grown, how do they make the most of that time when life so often gets in the way?"  

Can you relate?  We have three weeks left in the school year.  How did that happen!  Three weeks left of Emily wearing a her little plaid jumper before she graduates to a skirt and shirt next year.  Three weeks left before Sarah is called a "middle schooler."  Three weeks left before Daisy returns home to China.  Summer is coming... fast.  When I heard about this new book, just the title clenched my heart.  Eighteen summers is not a lot.  Seven is even less (that's what we have with Sarah).  Some people may joke about counting down till they are free of their kids, but I don't, because you know what ... I really like my kids.  I like the people they are, and the life we have under this roof together.  I see the time slipping fast compared to what I hope to experience with them and to teach them.  

And then there is life... getting in the way... a job.. a speaking ministry... bills... laundry... dishes... the pull that maybe I need to get a second job ... and I get so frustrated... because I don't want to miss my kids' childhood.  I can't make the laundry, or the bills go away.  I can't make time stop or go back to this summer...

Or to this one  ...

I just have this one summer sitting before me, ready to arrive.  I know that unless I make some conscience choices, just like this school year, it will be gone in a blink, and I will regret what I wasted.  I don't have a perfect plan of how to make memories that matter this summer... I am still going to work ... but I have settled on a few things ...

1.  We are turning the TV off from Memorial Day to Labor Day.  We have done this in the past, and we don't miss anything.

2. I need to get my cell phone use under control.  My kids see way too much of the top of my head while I live under the lie that something world changing is unfolding on Facebook, or that I need to reply to every email within 6 1/2 minutes.

3.  I am not signing my kids up for any more camps.  They each have two weeks planned, and they don't need anymore.  They are as tired as I am, they don't need 8-10 hours of planned activities a day all summer.  (and I am going to stop feeling guilty that we cannot send them to $250-a-week camps all summer.)  

4.  Adventure Days:  I have blocked off five Thursdays over the summer as Adventure Days.  The girls and I are going to get in the car and go do something.  Or maybe we will go out in the yard and do something.  I shared this idea with them the other day and asked them what they would want to do. I was thinking beach, canoeing at the lake, going to a museum.   They didn't ask for big exciting things - Emily asked if I would go play at the back of our property with her.  (Folks we only live on 2 acres! That's a pretty sad statement on how much time I spend out there).  Sarah asked if we could take the dog to the park across the street - yep across the street - because in the 16 months of living here we've never gone.  I think it is time.  

I'd love to hear your ideas.  How will you make this summer matter to your family?  How will you take the time to make great memories, and grow in your relationships with one another?  

Restoring My Faith in Youth Sports - New Life Camp

Last night Sarah played the first game in her end-of-season basketball tournament at New Life Camp.  You can probably draw a mental picture of how last night went.  Fierce competition, pushy obnoxious parents, yelling coaches - and at the end of the game - half the kids disappointed.  That's the way kids sports go today right?  That's what you have to put up with to have your child involved in team sports.

I've been okay with that scenario.  When Sarah was 4 (yes 4) I signed her up to play soccer in a competitive league.  Parents on the opposing team once asked for Sarah's birth certificate to see if we had planted an older kid on the team to win.  (She's a tall one!).  I screamed and yelled at my budding soccer player.  I assumed we would join a travel team by 8, elite team by 10, all in the hopes of trying to help her become ... well I didn't know what we were trying to help her become, but isn't that what everyone does?

In the last 18 months I've learned that's actually not what everyone does.  It's not what New Life does. You see New Life is different.  It's not a place where kids get to play on a team because of their parent's ability to pay an enormous registration fee  - many kids pay nothing.  Our team has three players whose families are refugees. New Life's not a place you get to play based on your skill level. Last year, when Sarah played for the first time, she might have been the worst player in the league at the skill assessment day.  She played anyway - the same amount of time as anyone else, and now she is one of the best kids in the league, and she still plays the same amount of time as anyone else.   New Life's not a place parents have to sacrifice their families on the alter of a child's athletic pursuits.  There's one practice and one game a week.  It's enough - they are children.

New Life's also not a place of cut throat coaches trying to win at all costs. Our coaches are three dads, and they love their team.  All the coaches do.  They are committed to coaching character as much as athletics.  Last Saturday I watched a coach call a time out when one of his players intentionally fouled another player.  The coach called over the young man and spoke with him.  The player went immediately to the one he had fouled, apologized, and shook his hand.  I was so proud of both of those young players!  They are being coached, on both sides, on how to be men.  How awesome!

But... I'm supposed to be telling you about last night.  Last night my faith was restored in youth sports.  My hope was increased that we have a great generation rising up.  Last night my momma heart nearly burst with pride.  Sarah's team has won every game this season - by a lot.  Last night they were playing the lowest ranked team.  By halftime they were up by about 25 points.  The two teams' coaches met quickly at half time and the other team's coaches shared that one of their players had not scored all season.  They hoped she could get a chance.  Sarah's coaches (one who is my awesome husband) shared this with our team.  The second half went by and this sweet little girl (she was the smallest on both teams by several inches) did not get a chance to score.  In the last 10 seconds of the game, the other team had the ball, they shot, and missed.  Sarah got the rebound and she passed the ball to the girl on the OTHER team. In the last 10 seconds of a tournament game, the tallest girl in the league got a rebound to pass to the shortest girl in the league, so that she could get her chance - and the parents on both sides held our breath because every one of us wanted her to make it.  That's New Life.

Our family is blessed to see this different way to do youth sports.  If you live in North Raleigh, I encourage you to check them out.  No matter where you live, I encourage you to ask yourself what are you hoping your child's sports team will do for them?  What are sports helping your child become?   I now know what I am trying to help my daughter become through her sports involvement - a healthy yet balanced woman, a competitive yet compassionate person,  and a whole hearted follower of Christ.  And as a bonus, I hope she has a great time, being a kid, playing a sport she loves.

66 Books - Where Should Our Family Start?

A coworker asked me this week how Pete and I decide what to read for our daily family devotions.  I think that is a great question, and a common stumbling block for parents who want to start doing devotions.
Pete and I start off with a few premises:
1.  All of God's Word is good.  You can't really pick the "wrong" thing.
2.  God is aware of our helpless, clueless status as parents and He has willingly sent us the Holy Spirit to guide us.  

So working within that - every few months Pete and I check in on how devotions are going, and what we think they girls are needing to hear.  Last school year we wanted to focus on the basics of our faith, so we spent a whole school year reading through the Gospels.  We felt we needed to break it up a little bit to keep it fresh, so every four weeks we spent a week reading Psalms.  You can print out a copy of the reading schedule that we used right over there -------->

This year we decided we wanted to focus on memorizing a chunk of scripture to give our exchange student the opportunity to hear the same words over and over, and to help our girls to focus on sealing the Word of God in their hearts.  We chose the book of James.  We worked on that for 5 months ... and then the girls got really bored.

... so we went back to the Gospels for Lent....


With Easter behind us we sat down again to figure what would be next.  The Lord in His great provision brought The Family Devotion Bible to my attention.  This Bible has built-in family reading plans and discussion questions.  Discussion is something that we feel has not been going very well lately.  We do devotions at 7:15 every morning - and some mornings we are a quiet, tired bunch.












We are one week in, and for this season it seems to be the right fit.  We are actually having some great discussions.  Humorous ones too - like whether seals were created on the same day as sea creatures or land animals ... hmmmm... things to ponder when you have an 8 year old.








If the question of what to read is holding up your family from reading God's Word together here are three questions to help you make a decision and move forward.   Take time to pray together that the Holy Spirit will be your guide.



1. What do my kids need to hear?

2.  Where can I find that in the bible?  (If you don't know, ask a pastor, or leave a comment here and I will help you as best I can.)

3.  What would be a reasonable about to read each day?  (We normally do one chapter a day).

If you are interested in doing a chronological study of the bible with your kids (or if you just want someone else to map out what to read), give The Family Devotion Bible a try.   It is currently on sale here .

I pray your family's devotion time will be a joy and will bear fruit in your lives and the lives of your children.