Maybe Modesty Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

Well, I am just going to come out and say something that a woman working in a Southern Baptist Church probably shouldn't say...

"I'm not sure modesty is all it's cracked up to be."

There, I said it.  You see, I am concerned with the overwhelming amount of attention spent in the church training girls between the age of 8 and 18 about how to dress.   We have classes,  bible studies, and fashion shows to teach girls how to dress in the right way.  How to look cute and modest, fashionable and conservative all at the same time.  While it is with the good intentions of teaching girls not to look like harlots, or believe they can only be beautiful if they dress like a porn star, the subtle underlying message I fear we are teaching these girls is that it actually matters what you wear.

The church is helping drive an obsession with valuing the external. 

Where are the classes on figuring out your gifting?  Where are the classes teaching these girls about their sisters around the world who are slaves... factory slaves, sex slaves... actual slaves?  Where are the classes teaching these girls Acts 1:8, and James 1:22, and Proverbs 31: 20?  Where are the classes that teach these girls that the Church is God's plan and they make up half of it!

Sadly, they just don't exist...

Where and when in the church are we raising up an army?  You see, we need one.  The world desperately needs an army of women who are willing to do more than attend a bible study, and as my friend puts it, "skid in to Heaven."  We desperately need a generation greater than mine.  A generation that gets off the couch and says, "Wait, all this wealth, all this education, all this abundance in my life... it's actually not just for me to sit back and enjoy!"

That's why I think maybe we need to take another look at modesty.  Every psychologist and mother alike will tell you a girl dresses like a hoochie to get attention.  Why?  Because she wants to be valued. Valued by the men around her.  Valued by a boy who will stare at her, take her out, pick her as his own.  She dresses like a whore because she's been taught her value is to be decorative.

That's where the church needs to come in...

We need to teach our girls that there was a man whose name was Jesus.  He saw them before they even were, and He picked them.  He picked each one of us girls as his own.  He loved and cherished us so much He gave his very life for us.  We can not be more valued by any man on earth than we already are by Jesus.  And after dying for us, He valued us SO MUCH that He gave us a purpose for our time here on earth.... and it wasn't to be decorative.  

He charged us with bringing His message to the ends of the earth... (Act 1:8)

He charged us with loving one another as ourselves ... (Mark 12:31)

Through Him we are created to teach, serve, contribute, and lead.  (Romans 12:5-8)  

I  have never met a young woman who knew her value in God, and felt a calling on her life, who dressed immodestly.  I guarantee you Katie Davis's mom does not have to keep on her about not wearing sheer shirts and mini skirts.  That girl knows her value.  We need 100,000 Katie Davises to rise up.  Our world is fallen and the needs are great.  We are losing the church in America.  We can not raise up another generation of modest girls whose church training focused on cute accessories and skirt lengths-.  What we need is radical girls.  We desperately need a generation of outlandish, spectacular, remarkable women who know their true worth and the impact they can make on this world.  Once we raise that generation up, modesty will be a non-issue in the church, and the church might just not be lost after all.  

We Sit Amazed By You

Five days ago I shared with you Sarah's vision for Hoops of Hope.  I shared how we are amazed by this girl of ours.  Today I wanted to tell, our sweet friends, that we are amazed BY YOU!  Thank you to all of you who hopped over to www.hoopsofhoperaleigh.com and donated.  Thank you to all of you who reposted on Facebook.  Thank you to all of you have emailed us the most amazing emails of encouragement for Sarah.

When I posted on Thursday, Sarah and her team had raised around $2,400.00. That evening Sarah was wrestling with the idea of proposing to her team that they personally try to raise $4,000 for the event.  It seemed too much to hope for.  By the time of their meeting the next day, they were at $3,700.00, so the girls changed their goal to $5,000.00.  We may reach that today.  Praise God!

When I gave Sarah the latest totals, she started laughing and said, "I don't even know what our next goal should be!"  

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Cor 2:9

What should our next goal be?  What a good question for all of us.  It's so easy to plan small and dream in miniature.  But you my brothers and sisters have reminded me that our God is the God who owns the cattle on a thousands hills. He is not the God of small dreams, so we should not be a people of them. 

Thank you to each of you who have said yes to partnering with Sarah and her friends and joining them in working for the people of Hamuandu as they await their miracle of a medical clinic.  May it be built for them faster than they could ever have dreamed.  

If you live in the Raleigh area we still have a lot of space for participants.  Come by yourself, or get together a team and register at www.hoopsofhoperaleigh.com!  We'd love to see you on Feb 21st! 

Hoops of Hope Raleigh

You know those moments in life when you think, "I am witnessing something amazing."  For four months now, Pete and I have been living a prolonged moment like that.  Back in September Sarah read Take Your Best Shot, the story of a boy who at age 9 believed he should do something to try to help AIDS orphans.  Being a basketball player, he decided to use the sport he loved to help children half way around the world.  In the past ten years his idea of a basketball free throw marathon, run by kids to help kids, has raised over 3 million dollars!

After reading the book, Sarah learned that one of these events had never been held in Raleigh.  She came to Pete and I one night and told us she thought she should be the one to do it.

We told her to pray.

She came back to us with confirmation from scripture.  (ok...)

From there, something incredible started to unfold.

Sarah received permission from the national organization to start Hoops of Hope Raleigh.
Her school gave her their gym to use.
Six adults who love her agreed to serve as her prayer team.
Four amazing friends came alongside her (along with their moms).

In the last four months we have watched Sarah learn to communicate her idea clearly as she has spoken to companies, basketball teams, schoolmates, and Sunday school classes.  She has learned to take rejection with both dignity and a grain of salt.  She has learned to believe in herself. (a hard feat for any 11 year old - or 40 year old.)  She believes that she can make a difference in a little town called Hamaundu in Zambia where the money from this event will go toward the building of a medical clinic that will test for, treat, and education people about AIDS.

Last night we received an email from a reporter asking to do an interview via email.  She asked me to ask Sarah why she was doing this.  While I cooked dinner I told Sarah to write down her answers.  She left them on my desk to send back to the reporter after she went to bed.  (we do not allow her to email strangers).

Without any help or prompting, this is what she wrote,

" I am doing Hoops of Hope Raleigh to impact the lives of children who are being orphaned by AIDS.  In the process, I hope to inspire the kids in Raleigh to make a difference in their own way.  I hope that the kids in Raleigh are inspired by the fact that kids have just as much ability to impact the world around them as adults.  No matter your age you can use your passion to make a difference."  

Jesus taught that we would only be saved if we had the faith of a child.  Watching Sarah and her friends, who each have grown so much through this, I know that the world's struggles can only be fixed if we address them with the faith of a child.

So this faithful girl of mine has set a high goal.  A huge goal.  She wants to raise $25,000 through her event.  She wants 100 people to come take part.  Please take a minute and hop over to her website.  If you live in Raleigh - come join us Feb 21st for the event.  If you don't, would you consider making a donation?  www.hoopsofhoperaleigh.com.  You can register or donate on the site.  All donations are tax deductible.

High hopes of a creepy author stalker

I've only ever been a creepy author-stalker twice in my life.  Once in 2006 when I read the book Living Simply by Joanne Heim and today when I just emailed Bob Goff author of Love Does.  In the first case, my stalking really paid off because I ended up with an amazing new friend and mentor in Joanne - because as God would arrange, she lived about 7 minutes from me and she actually took me up on an offer to meet for coffee!

In both cases the books radically changed my view of my life.  Joanne's book gave me a new vision of motherhood and Christ-following and our friendship/mentorship has been one of the most influencing relationships of my life.  Bob Goff's book Love Does has given me a new vision of walking out my faith and has had such sweeping impact on our life this year, that I just had to turn stalker today and email him.

If you haven't read Love Does, you should, better yet, get the audio book and listen to it with your family.  Our family listened to this book a little over a year ago and as I look back on the year since then I see how different out life is today.  The book is a collection of stories from Bob's life.  They are funny and astonishing and challenging.  The thread that weaves them together is that Bob says yes.  Yes to whatever God brings his way.  He gets his hands dirty in life and amazing things happen.  I walked away from the book realizing that God can't use me if I say no to everything.  No, I am busy.  No, that is hard.  No, that will cost me something.  No, my plate is full.  Well friends, you know what?  If cost Christ a lot to come save us.  It was dirty and it hurt (more than we can imagine).  But Jesus loves us, so he said yes - to us!

So for a year we've said yes to the inconvenient, the hard, the time consuming and the seemingly small.

Pete said yes to Bob's idea of taking your 10 year old on an adventure of their choosing - even when Sarah picked horseback riding every day for a week.  - It changed their relationship forever.

I said yes to God's nudging me to host a 5th grade mother/daughter bible study.  On average 12-15 moms and daughters came every week!  My couch got a huge hole in in.  God's Word was exalted!

The school called and asked us to host a Chinese student for a year - we said yes.  Then they told us it was actually for four years.  We said yes anyway!  Daisy has been with us for six months now.  She has heard the Gospel preached! She reads the bible in Chinese and English.

Sarah (age 11) read a book about a boy who started a fundraiser to help children orphaned by AIDS.  God nudged her to do the same - and she said YES!  Check out her event at www.hoopsofhoperaleigh.com.  Yesterday we got an email from the local Today show asking to do a segment on her.  Hello!  Go God!

There are also small moments, too many to count, when we have decided to be "Love Doing" when we could have just sat on the couch and been comfortable.  Last week I brought muffins to a new mom.  It was four days after her baby had been born and I was her FIRST visitor from the church!  Hello friends, we need a lot more "Love Doing."  (It's in the bible - "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. DO WHAT IT SAYS. James 1:22)

So today I was a stalker and emailed this man Bob, and said thank you for encouraging us to be doers of the Word and not hearers only.  I'll let you know if he writes me back.  I think I'll invite him to coffee!