Just in case you were thinking of running away

Never fear, I did return from my Run Away Momma trip last week.  I had a wonderful two days.  I ate at restaurants of my own choosing.  I spent a really long time in an art museum.  I found this garden and wiled away an entire morning sketching.  Alone.  Alone.  Blissfully Alone.

I listened to this book and thought complete thoughts without interruption of work, little girls, or regular life.  Alone.

I spent several hours praying through three specific opportunities/ideas I had for this summer. I made a lovely chart of the pros and cons of these ideas and wrote out scripture ... yes scripture.. to support them.  Alone.  

And about three seconds after I took this photo, documenting my lovely peaceful morning ... it was so peaceful.. my cell phone rang ... it was God calling to thank me for the large amounts of humor I was providing Him with my cute little chart.  He barged right into the prayer time I was having Alone. God liked my chart for its humor purposes, but if my life was a bad Sunday School cartoon, my journal would have blown up into a little cloud of smoke and God's voice would have been heard from the cloud saying, 

"Wendy, Wendy, your chart is stupid. Your plans are small, and so is your faith."  

Okay, God would probably not say stupid and it was not Him calling on the phone. (That would have been a really fantastic culmination of my trip!)  No, He used my friend.  She was calling to ask me to do something that would require a LOT of faith this summer.  Something messy and difficult and totally outside my comfort zone.  I explained my chart.  My chart held three pretty little ideas.  Ideas that I was trying to choose between - because surely in my busy life I couldn't do something nutty and pick two.  There was just room for one.  She laughed, (sort if manically actually), and wished me good luck with my chart.  

So that was the end of the peaceful portion of my trip.  It was also the beginning of the genuine part of my trip.  You see I had told Pete I wanted to go away and be quiet and pray about what God's will is for me in this season of my life. But I had lied.  I wanted to go away and think about what I wanted to do in this season.  There is a big difference.  It's easy in Christian culture to say cute phrases about prayer and the will of God, when you really mean "thinking" and the will of ME.  It's easy to get away with living a life where you are risking nothing, over analyzing everything, and worshiping your "quiet time" because what really matters most is keeping life as smooth and peaceful as possible.  I had planned a weekend Alone, but I didn't get it.

I can try to put on all the trappings of The Good Christian Girl's Life and walk smoothly in my own self-serving plans. But then God shows up, out of His great and mighty love for me.  He reveals a better plan, a messier, bigger plan than would ever fit on my little chart.  For have any of God's plans ever fit on a little chart?  

So just in case you were thinking of running away to have a weekend Alone, I thought it would only be fair to warn you who might show up when you get there.  And that is the grace of God.  That even when we plan a weekend Alone, we are never left there alone.